the story of ron... a new day has dawned (last of a 4 part series)

upon leaving new orleans for the final time, ron embarked on what I like to call his “victory tour”, for God had indeed given ron the victory in his struggle with addiction. he first stopped and visited a former church family now living in jackson, ms., and called to say he’d be coming my way after leaving jackson. from our place, ron would head up to eureka springs, which just happens to be where he and cheryl were vacationing the sunday my wife and i joined williams boulevard church all those years ago. i was excited at the prospect of seeing ron again after all this time and all that had happened. we had a great time catching up, and he told me in more detailed fashion of how his life started to spin so out of control. he asked my forgiveness, but all I could think was that i’m the one who needed forgiving… ron and i were close… i should have been able to tell something was wrong… i should have been a better friend. and yet, a very select few ever knew the secret… one lived with it daily, and the other knew only because ron confessed it to him. in any event, God had forgiven him… how could I not??

during the course of our time together, ron told me of his plan to build an ebenezer (literally, “stone of help”)… a spiritual marker of sorts. in 1 samuel 7, God has given israel victory over the philistines after they had previously defeated the israelites and taken the ark of the covenant. after the battle, samuel set up a stone, named it ebenezer, and said “this marks the place where God helped us.” (the message). ron’s plan was to get a stone from each significant place along the way of his life's journey, and at some point use the stones to erect his ebenezer… as a remembrance that God has delivered him from his addiction. my wife is a great collector of rocks and stones. everywhere she travels, and everywhere anyone she knows travels, she has a rock from that place. so from her collection... i guess it would be her own so-far unbuilt ebenezer… she gave ron two stones.

he left us and went on to eureka springs, and then worked his way east to where cheryl was now living. unfortunately, that visit, to this day, has yet to produce fruit, but we never stop praying for reconciliation. ron decided to return to north georgia to start over. an incredible couple that had befriended him during his recovery at victory home, andy and terry pilgrim, took ron in while he got back on his feet. andy is himself a former addict and an alumni of victory home. we had the incredible experience of meeting the pilgrims last month when we went to visit ron in georgia. andy and terry live in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath home, but the ministry that God has called them to is to be a halfway house of sorts for guys coming out of victory home. in this modest abode, they currently host ron, another single guy, and another graduate AND his wife! needless to say, we’re praying that God would provide a larger home for them to more effectively carry out their ministry to these men and their families.

another couple we met was perry and michelle bourlet. they, too have an awesome ministry to the residents at victory home, and have been a huge blessing to ron during his time there, and even to this day. both of these couples are members of a little country church just out of tallulah falls… hollywood baptist church… the church family that ron became a part of. he found a home there and placed himself under the watchcare and discipline of the church. ron ministered wherever and whenever needed… as he recently related to me, he became a servant. one of ron’s great strengths in ministry, besides his ability to relate with teenagers and stay on top of the ever-changing youth culture, is hospital visitation. sounds like no big deal, but i’ve had occasion to accompany him on hospital rounds when we were in new orleans, and there is no greater comfort when you’re flat on your back in a hospital bed than to have someone as caring and compassionate as ron come to see about you and pray with and for you. this, along with ministering to and leading bible studies for the guys at victory home became some of ron’s avenues of ministry at and through the church.

in conversation with ron one day, his pastor reminded him that the apostle paul wrote that the call of God is “without repentance”… king james-ese for “irrevocable.” For a man who was convinced his days as a minister were over, this was quite a revelation… God was far from through with ron!

now then.........

remember this picture from part one of ron's story? you cant see him, but amongst that crowd of men is ron, down on his knees. at first glance, you would say this is an ordination service... but you would be wrong. this is something you dont hear very much about in many churches. you see, tragically, Christians have come to be known as a people who "shoot their wounded." we have high expectations, and little tolerance for mistakes. thankfully, its not like that everywhere... and certainly not at hollywood baptist church outside of tallulah falls, georgia. for what you see taking place here is a restoration service. never heard of one? sadly, neither had i. in my years as a Christian, i've become all too familiar with churches that shun and even drive out those who have made mistakes. while it is a biblical mandate to practice church discipline, it is always to achieve restoration. we may be quick to cast aside a fallen brother, but as long as God can still use a person, who are we to say he is not worthy?

today, ron serves as associate pastor of hollywood baptist. he visits sick folks in the hospital... he leads bible studies at victory home... he ministers wherever and whenever he is needed. he is a servant of God and a minister of the Gospel. he is also a caseworker for the state of georgia, helping marginalized individuals find gainful employment and, just maybe, some shred of self-worth... a little restoration if you will. i'm honored to call ron dingus friend... and i'm proud to call him brother in Christ. meet my friend and brother... pastor ron dingus.

redemption... the story of ron part 3

so....... ron and cheryl got out of new orleans ahead of katrina and made their way to missouri, and although i spoke to him on the phone while he was there, i didnt hear from him again until i called him at victory home. we talked a couple of times by phone during his stay there, and he filled me in on what had transpired since he and cheryl had left new orleans as the hurricane bore down on the coast...

after landing in missouri, they went to visit ron's mom, and right after they got there, the church called and said he was needed back in new orleans as soon as possible. williams blvd. was housing law enforcement and military personnel, and many of them were in need of pastoral care and counseling. remember hearing all the horror stories on the news? and then as the weeks unfolded, various government officials were spinning and doing damage control... saying that the vast majority of the initial reports of roving gangs of armed thugs, snipers and rape and murder in the dome and convention center were exaggerated or just plain fiction? well, the stories that the special ops guys would tell after returning to the church from patrolling the city all night not only bear out the truth of those initial reports we heard on TV, but they paint a picture far worse than what anyone was telling. ron was pretty fired up about the ministry possibilities, and was anxious to get back; however, cheryl wasnt sharing his enthusiasm, and she opted to stay with her family in ohio. ron would call cheryl from new orleans and tell her about everything that was going on, but the more he talked to her, the more he sensed that she was in no hurry to join him there.

when she finally decided to return to new orleans, it wasnt for keeps. cheryl packed her things, and before she left town, she told several friends the secret that had been kept quiet for more than a decade... that ron, her husband, the minister, was an alcoholic. in one fell swoop, a life was seemingly laid to waste. there was only one course of action to take now... confess and resign. beyond that, however, ron saw nothing else worth living for, and with marriage and ministry seemingly finished, life may as well be over with too. after confessing his hidden sin to the pastor, the plan was to go home and commit suicide. the quintessential lie from the pit of hell itself... that all is lost and there is no hope. but when you are a son of the King, there is always a way of escape. the eye-opener for ron came when the pastor asked him to consider what kind of effect his suicide would have on all those that he led to the Lord and discipled down through the years. after careful consideration of such a sobering thought, he placed his immediate future into the hands of his pastor, and arrangements were made for ron to admit himself to victory home, a Christian drug and alcohol rehabilitation facility in the north georgia mountains.

ron related to me in our conversations that, even though he knew he would reject the taking of his own life as the answer to his problems, at the beginning of his stay at victory home, he still felt great shame and a sense of worthlessness. with his ministry, his marriage and his very life seemingly left at the bottom of some long-ago discarded whiskey bottle, there wasnt much to feel very positive about. but God sometimes has to break us all the way down before He can begin to build us back up. in addition to the staff at victory home, there are a number of churches in the area that are very active in the ministry there. the residents attend the different area churches on a rotating basis, and there are a number of members of these churches that have made outreach to these men their personal ministry. even though he was in his own healing process, ron was also able to minister to many of the men that were residents at victory home with him, and amazingly... or maybe not so amazingly (for ron had never lost the heart or the ability to minister during his years of addiction)... ron had a number of opportunities to preach at area churches.

when his stay was complete and he graduated from victory home's rehab program, ron returned to new orleans briefly. i received a call from him, and he told me he was leaving new orleans, and would be tracing a route that would take him back to significant places and people in his life. his aim was two-fold: first, he wanted to re-connect with those people and places that were so much a part of his life. many from williams boulevard were now scattered, and ron wished to visit and tell his story to as many as possible. his second purpose especially piqued my interest... to gather stones to build an ebenezer.....

THANK YOU JEFF!

part 3 of ron's story is in the works, but i had to take time out to give a shout-out to jeff noble. one of my guys had to have some video footage of skateboarding tricks for a demonstrative speech in oral communications which is due... when else... today. we shot footage all weekend and my guy told me he had somebody lined up that could edit it for him. when it came time for editing, we discovered that what was actually said, and what sk8r-dude actually thought he heard were 2 very different things. so a desperate call went out to jeff, and he hooked us up with a laptop and an analog-to-digital converter, plus a short tutorial on how it all works. shea, our intrepid video editor got the job done, and i dont know about him, but i think i might be sold on macs myself now. too bad these things right here stand between me and a mac laptop --> $$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

anyway, jeff, you were a life (and grade) saver, and while i know you didnt expect any publicity off of this, you deserve a huge THANK YOU! so.... THANK YOU!

now THERE'S your meteor shower!

fittingly enough, while i'm in the midst of telling ron's story, he called me this afternoon and tipped me off to the geminid meteor shower which should hang around roughly through the 19th. but wednesday night was the peak viewing time, and IT WAS AWESOME! i'm on duty, so i couldnt get away to the country, but i was still able to view around 25 or so intermittently throughout the evening just by standing out behind the cottage.

several of the articles i read said the evening of the 14th will be a fairly good night, so make plans to get out to the country thursday night (preferably east of town since you'll be looking to the northeatern sky and you dont want to be looking back toward the glare of the monticello's lights). the last time i went out to watch was from 12:30-1:00 am, and you could literally catch them in any direction, and much higher in the sky than when i first started at 8 pm.

i dont understand how anybody can witness something this spectacular and NOT believe that God exists. He created all this just for us to enjoy... does He love us or what??

p.s: here's a pretty decent article on the geminids from the planetary society.

redemption... the story of ron part 2

hurricane katrina roared ashore between mississippi and louisiana on the morning of august 29, 2005. all the years i'd lived in and around new orleans, i'd always heard the scenarios of what would happen if new orleans ever took a direct hit. at first, we all thought the city had dodged another bullet, but as the levees gave way, everyone's worst fears were beginning to be realized. i immediately started calling ron's cell phone, but it would be days before service would be restored to gulf coast mobile phone customers. when i finally reached him, he told me that they had made it to missouri, and all was well. we'd get back in touch once things settled down.

from time to time, i'd check in at the williams boulevard baptist church website just to keep up with how things were going in the aftermath of the storm. the church was housing and ministering to law enforcement and military from all over the country, and also giving updates on the progress of the recovery. as i was perusing the prayer request page one day, i saw this item: "anyone wishing to contact bro. ron may write to him at victory home...." and it gave a p.o. box in georgia. several thoughts raced through my mind... did ron decide not to return to new orleans, and instead find another ministry position? did some awful tragedy befall him and he was recovering in some nursing home? i googled "victory home" and discovered that it's a Christian drug and alcohol rehab facility for men. ron was always a youth minister at heart, and i just couldnt imagine that ministry to adults with addictions would have been his thing. i even wondered if, because of his deteriorated knees if he may have gotten addicted to pain pills. i placed a call to the church, and the secretary said, "you mean you never knew? ron is an alcoholic." she no doubt figured because ron and i were close that i was helping keep his secret, but i was dumbfounded when she told me...

have you ever had those moments when something is so totally out of place, yet it takes awhile for you to completely process the situation? like coming up on an overturned car, or a dead person in the middle of the street (i've done both of those)... that was the feeling that crept up on me as the secretary spoke those words... "ron is an alcoholic." i know cars, and i know upside down, but cars arent supposed to be upside down in the ditch. i've seen people, and i've seen dead people, but dead people arent supposed to be in the street right in front of your car at 2 a.m. well, i've been friends with ron for 13 years, and i've known alcoholics all my life, but ron isnt supposed to be an alcoholic! whatever i said in the rest of that conversation must have been feeble at best... i barely remember it. i do know i asked if i should write him or what... then i figured if his address was on the website, it wasnt much of a secret... but i decided pretty quickly that i was going to call rather than write.

i'm not sure how many days it took me to get up the nerve to pick up that phone... i didnt know if he'd refuse my call, or if he'd be angry or embarrassed that i got in touch. when i did call, a staff person answered and said ron was unavailable at the moment, but that he would give him my message when he saw him. i figured that was the big brush-off, although i was somewhat encouraged by the fact that they acknowledged that he was even there. it must have been a week or more, and i had pretty much decided he wasnt going to call me, but he did. he couldnt talk for long because there were other guys waiting to use the phone, but ron gave me permission to ask any question. the only thing that came to mind was "how long?" had he been an alcoholic for as long as i knew him (or longer)? did he just come by this dread disease fairly recently? the answer was, in the early 90's, not long after i had left williams blvd. to go to another church, ron started drinking at night to help him fall asleep. and although he was up to 20 oz. of whiskey per sitting, it never progressed beyond that reasoning... always at night, at home, in order to try and sleep. problem was, he didnt always make it to the bedroom. he'd often pass out in the kitchen floor, and his wife cheryl, a pediatric emergency room nurse who often worked the night shift, would come home and find him like that, and have to pick him up and get him to bed. for years it went this way, but no one was the wiser. our former pastor did know, and directed ron to counseling, but out of a desire to try and protect the church and (so he thought) ron's ministry and reputation, he never would allow ron to go before the church to confess and have some sort of accountability. and without that accountability, it wasnt long before counseling had gone by the wayside, and the drinking continued.

what i had been knowing was that ron had fallen behind in his doctoral work, but that was always chalked up to the added responsibilities he undertook at church when the pastor fell ill and subsequently died of cancer. what i didnt know for a long time was that ron had been dismissed from the doctoral program. his dream had been to teach youth ministry at the seminary level (his prior teaching experience had been in the under-grad program as a contract teacher), but the dream could not be realized without that degree. additionally, his knees were shot after multiple surgeries, and he could barely get around at times. physically, emotionally and spiritually, the wheels were coming off... then the storm of the century hit, and all hell was about to break loose...

redemption... the story of ron part 1

i had such an awesome experience while on vacation in north georgia last week, that i was having a difficult time deciding what i wanted to write about first. this subject was high on my list, but i was debating on whether to save it for later (as in the best for last), but after reading a comment left on kevin stokes' "heart of worship" post, there was no doubt in my mind that i needed to write this NOW.

in my years as a minister, staff member and just a plain old member, i've seen my share of church folks do some of the most vile things to their so-called brothers and sisters in Christ in the name of... i dont even know in what or whose name they do these things in, but it's often done under the guise of church "business." i've seen pastors and other ministerial staff get run off, run over and starved out by deacons, wealthy families, power-wielding cliques and factions, and even other staff members. i've seen the shoe on the other foot as well, when church staff go after members to drive them away from the church, or as in what happened to jeff l. who posted the comment at kevin's blog, to keep certain folks from ever becoming a part of the church. just in the past few days, as we spent some time in MS at my in-laws, i became aware of 2 churches that may be about to split over similar issues. its happening right here in monticello as we speak, and frankly, it sickens me... it angers me and it breaks my heart. but fortunately for you, this post isnt going to be a rant about how unjust churches can sometimes be. and not that jeff l's was a situation where he was in need of restoration, for it was plain to see from what he wrote that all jeff wanted was to become a part of a local church where he could serve and worship God. but his story of a pastor who said he wasnt welcome at his church prompts me to tell you the story of a friend of mine, and how God used a hurricane, a quest for stones and a little country church to restore, rather than tear down, a fallen brother...

this scene may look familiar to many of you: the laying on of hands. you most often see this during an ordination service, when a God-called man is ordained into the ministry. but more about this photo later on....

back in 1988, while chaperoning a youth trip, i was told by one of the youth ministers on that bus that God was calling me to ministry. i laughed right in his face (and i guess, in His face too). it would be another 2 years before i quit running and finally submitted to God's call on my life... to be a minister to youth. in august of 1990, my wife and i got rid of everything that wouldnt fit into a small u-haul and a church van, and we moved from jackson, MS to new orleans where i began my studies at NOBTS. the first order of business was to find a church home. a family that i had a lot of respect for told us to try williams boulevard baptist church in kenner, just outside new orleans. our first sunday there, i knew we'd found our church. right after we joined, my first question was "where's the youth minister?" he was on vacation that week, but the very next sunday we were introduced to ron dingus. knowing a great find when he saw one :) , he invited us to come and observe and plug in wherever we were needed from week to week. before long, i was serving as associate youth minister... a non-salaried position, but nonetheless, my first church staff position! for the next 21 months, ron taught me everything i know about youth ministry (of course he didnt teach me everything HE knew about youth ministry... he's forgotten more than i'll ever pick up, and besides, 21 months was nowhere near enough time to soak it all up!)

ron is a very interesting guy... he's the product of a broken home, and there wasnt an abundance of spiritual guidance for him growing up in suburban cleveland, ohio. however, he was greatly influenced by the Godly lives of his best friend's family, and against great odds, ron became a Christian and God called him into the ministry. after college, he went to new orleans seminary, and one of his great claims to fame is that he was a part of billy graham's security team during his netherlands crusade back in the 80's. his second great claim to fame was being assigned to accompany a delegation of african evangelists as they went witnessing at a topless beach in the netherlands. much to ron's relief, the witnessing event was cancelled due to inclement weather. ron has also been a youth speaker, taught youth ministry at new orleans seminary, and written a number of articles for Christian publications.

anyway, during our time serving at williams blvd. we became good friends with ron and his wife cheryl. in may, 1992, i was called to my first paid staff position at a church about an hour away in houma, LA but we kept in touch, and our youth groups would often get together. ron eventually entered the PhD. program at seminary. by now he was associate pastor and working toward his doctorate, along with taking on increased responsibilities at church as the pastor's health declined, and we had less and less contact. i moved away from south louisiana to north mississippi, and then to monticello, and we'd exchange an occasional e-mail and talk on the phone a few times a year. i knew ron had much reading to do, seminars to attend, and papers to write, so i just figured his time was at a premium. in late summer of 2004, jim whaley and i went down to new orleans to meet with his coffee supplier, and we stopped in to see ron and cheryl at their seminary apartment, but ron was laid up with a deteriorating knee, and we only got to stay a short time. in may of '05 crissie and i had the opportunity to help chaperone a cruise for our high school seniors, and we arranged to stay overnight at williams boulevard church before boarding our ship. a perfect chance to hook up with ron, i thought, but i only got to spend about 15 minutes with him as he told me he wasnt feeling well and he left for home right after wednesday night prayer meeting. cheryl did accompany us to the french quarter that evening to eat and sight-see, but that was the last time i would talk to ron until later that year, right after hurricane katrina devastated new orleans.....

credit where credit's due...

how come wegley gets credit for being the first to post his high school pictures on his blog?? mine has been over there in my profile ever since i started this thing!

dean and crissie went to the north georgia mountains, and all i got was this crummy blog entry

well, our vacation turned into an extended vacation, as my boss was forced to rearrange our last few vacation days from next week and tag them onto this one, so we wont be back until thursday night late.

we went to north georgia to visit our good friend ron, and when we found out about our extra days, decided to stop by the in-laws here in mississippi since we cant be here for the big family Christmas next weekend. so much to write about, but it'll have to wait. i offer this entry simply to make it into jim's friday round-up :)

i will say this for now... i know that there's much bigger mountains out west, but getting to explore the mountains of north georgia and north carolina, replete with breathtaking overlooks and beautiful waterfalls just to name a few of the highlights, i stand in awe of the handiwork of God! talk about a worship experience!

and the story of ron... an even better example of the handiwork of God!! well, until next week..........